


Interruption at the Battle of Hogwarts

by SaintDionysus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9854942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintDionysus/pseuds/SaintDionysus
Summary: An anonymous follower prompted dramioneasks.tumblr.com, "Fics with where Donald Trump is the villain?"They didn't know of one, so I present this dark comedy drabble...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Refictionista](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Refictionista/gifts).



It all comes down to this—Harry and Voldemort face each other, wands drawn. Simultaneously, Harry mutters the beginnings of the disarming spell and Voldemort, the Killing Curse…but a new combatant enters the fray.

“Humph,” a loud, haughty gesture of disapproval comes from the entrance of the Great Hall. “You call this a battle? Where’s the machine guns and tanks? Oh, and what is that old bumpy stick?”

The Dark Lord sneers and takes his red eyes off of Harry for a moment and hisses, “This. This is the Elder Wand.” He turns toward the intruder and displays the legendary weapon, “The most powerful wand ever created and crafted by Death himself.” 

Harry is cautious and doesn’t know if this orange-faced man is friend or foe. If he was smart, he would strike down Voldemort now, but curiosity is getting the better of him and continues to listen to the boastful American.

“Ha! It can’t even take down a child and he’s just got a little plain one,” Harry thinks to himself, _definitely foe_. He sees Draco seething as if the appalling sack of skin just insulted the young heir’s manhood. The unwelcome guest continues, “I’ll get a better wand. More powerful. It’ll be huge. New. Top of the line. I’ll take over the ministry in one week. How long did it take you? Two decades? Everyone will love it. They’ll love me. Because I’m rich.” The crowd grows restless unsure of who the true villain in the room is, “I’ll get rid of the muggles. The elves. The immigrants. I’ll cut off all the funding to Hogwarts and turn it into a private school. If kids can’t afford a magical education, oh well. Maybe their parents shouldn’t be having kids in the first place. Also, no more funding searching out magical children. They’ll find us on their own. Then I’ll tear down the Forbidden Forrest and lock up all the centaurs and shave all the unicorns. We’ll increase wand production and get rid of those lazy half-breeds that don’t make any contribution to society. I’ll make the Wizarding World great again.”

In that moment, Harry and Voldemort’s eyes connected, not as adversaries magically linked, but as allies. Harry succumbed to his darkness for the greater good as he and Voldemort yelled in unison, “ _Avada Kedavra!”ˆ_

Harry and Voldemort seemed confused at what had just transpired but quickly came back to their senses. The boy savior said, “Back to business, Tom?”

“With pleasure.”

_**Fin** _


End file.
